Thursday, September 11, 2008

When women get stuck: one night stands, breakdowns

A radio caller in my local area recently went on the air to say she was interested in finding someone to sleep with her merely to help her conceive a baby that she would raise on her own.

Some weeks prior, another local woman -- a Choice Mom I have never come in contact with -- reportedly had a major breakdown and tried to kill her two adopted daughters. This after being hospitalized because she was afraid she was going to do harm, precipitated partly by great financial and obvious emotional stress.

Two depressing stories. Obviously of interest to the media. And not indicative of the Choice Mom community in general.

But it begs the question: How many single women ARE there who decide that the easiest, least expensive method to motherhood -- short of deciding to marry Mr. Good Enough -- is to have a one (or two- or three-) night stand?

And how many single moms around us are struggling and we don't even know because they haven't found us online or are afraid to speak it out loud?

Let's talk about it openly....publicly even....and help more women find out that the Choice Mom community exists to offer support and insight so that smart and safe decisions can be made on behalf of all of our children.


Foxfox said...

I entertained idea of 1 night stand, but ended up going for DI. I discovered my prospective 1ns had serious medical issues. Plus, if he ever changed his mind and decided to sue me for custody... let's not even go there!

Anonymous said...

The one-night-stand idea sends shivers down my spine. Even in a big city like where I live, it's not inconceivable (ha) that I would run into the guy subsequently when pregnant. Now, best case scenario is that he doesn't get that the baby is his or that he wants nothing to do with us, but what if he did? What if some stranger suddenly wanted to parent your baby? What if he was horrible? Then all of a sudden you are risking a custody fight with the crazy baby daddy. Not for me, thanks.