What Our Kids Have to Say

I'm working on an update to my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book that includes the voices of more of our kids. I will also publish a booklet in 2007 that specifically cites the comments of Choice Kids in describing the pros and cons of having a single mom as parent.

As a refresher, here are some of the comments from grown Choice Kids that I interviewed for the first edition of my book:

* “My mother did so many things right. She was devoted to me. She was more interested in discovering who I was than in molding me into any preconceived image. Her parenting style was relatively hands-off, trusting me to make choices that would aid me in my own process of knowing myself.”

* “An advantage to the way I grew up is that I never witnessed my parents fighting. As far as fears some have that a guy like me will grow up overly aggressive, or less analytical, because of the lack of a father in the home—it doesn’t make sense. I went to a competitive prep school, and graduated Phi Beta Kappa from college as a computer science major. There are a lot of stereotypes about single parenting, and it seems as if we’re all clumped into the same category.”

* “My mother means the world to me, and me to her. I think that had I been raised by two parents, that bond would logically be decreased by half.”

* “I don’t agree with the idea that men do some things better than women, and vice versa—the idea that you need a man and a woman to balance the parenting. People are complex. One person can do so many things, in many different ways.”

I think it's time for Choice Moms to start hearing more about what our kids say about this lifestyle choice we made. What they like, what they don't like. I know I'm curious.