tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post3122660976181766512..comments2023-06-28T08:08:38.568-05:00Comments on Choice Mom: Myths about Choice MomsChoice Momhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comBlogger16125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-43087037604097617822007-02-25T13:34:00.000-06:002007-02-25T13:34:00.000-06:00Hello Mikki,You may not remember me, but I am lemo...Hello Mikki,<BR/><BR/>You may not remember me, but I am lemondrop (used to subscribe to the yahoo group). Just wanted to say this is a great blog and keep up the fight for women to choose motherhood--even though some of us are single. As far as I am concerned, it is every woman's/family's civil right.LorMariehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07182120408651424886noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-90082887512670729402007-01-29T15:28:00.000-06:002007-01-29T15:28:00.000-06:00Very well.
You advocate education and careful lif...Very well.<br /><br />You advocate education and careful life planning for young women in order to prepare them for single motherhood.<br /><br />I advocate it as a recipe for later and better first marriages and families.<br /><br />Either way, young women need to do a great deal more thinking, learning and preparing.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-71583428464040949752007-01-28T10:49:00.000-06:002007-01-28T10:49:00.000-06:00I mean planful about realistic goals women can obt...I mean planful about realistic goals women can obtain in today's world, not planful in the sense you're talking about that women can impact someone's else behavior if they are planful enough. Women can do all of those things you outlined and still wind up either single or divorced with no families of their own as no matter how good and planful you are, you cannot say how another person will NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-15542643945670506712007-01-28T02:11:00.000-06:002007-01-28T02:11:00.000-06:00Well, it was you who first stated that young women...Well, it was you who first stated that young women must be much more planful...and they should.<br /><br />One doesn't have to BE part of the upper middle class to take a lesson from behavior patterns, choices and attitudes that obviously work for them. That keep them and their children on top and elevate other people into their ranks.<br /><br />All I'm saying is that wise planning and choices Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-39464331229413372722007-01-27T09:34:00.000-06:002007-01-27T09:34:00.000-06:00Well tell me this how many of the rest of us fit i...Well tell me this how many of the rest of us fit into the defintion of 'upper middle class'. How much does this finding really impact the lives of ordinary women who wish to live their lives as fully as possible whether or not they meet their soul mate?<br /><br />My own feeling is that it's the loss of the power differential in marriage (which used to automatically defer to men) that is the NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-60950257471047656782007-01-27T01:54:00.000-06:002007-01-27T01:54:00.000-06:00The raw statistics on age, marriage and divorce do...The raw statistics on age, marriage and divorce do not all take into account all the relevant variables, such as previous marriages and/or previous long-term relationships, and most of all children from prior relationships.<br /><br />These are serious marriage stressors which are more common in older marrying couples but which your plan for more attention to higher education and careful career Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-64334419350825430902007-01-26T17:24:00.000-06:002007-01-26T17:24:00.000-06:00Saying marrying later will reduce the divorce rate...Saying marrying later will reduce the divorce rate is not really true. Sure if you don't marry at 16 versus any other age, you can say marrying later reduces the divorce rate. But most of us don't marry at 16 anyway. However, there is no appreciable difference in the divorce rate of a 24 year old vs. a 34 year old. It just sounds good so people say it. <br /><br />Really unless you're NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-12116484819787323782007-01-26T11:25:00.000-06:002007-01-26T11:25:00.000-06:00"Women need to know that there are millions of us ..."Women need to know that there are millions of us that need to plan a solid career for supporting ourselves, buying our own homes if we ever wish to own one, saving for our own retirement"<br /><br />I agree strongly with this.<br /><br />Because overall this will lead to more education, later marriage, wiser choices of mates, and more mature handling of the marriage relationship itself.<br /><brAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-60507926147075030442007-01-25T23:56:00.000-06:002007-01-25T23:56:00.000-06:00I know most women are still getting married but du...I know most women are still getting married but due to the high divorce rate, it's for a few years only not the long-term marriages of previous generations. I too was married in my 30s, had 2 kids but then divorced a few years later and never remarried. I'm in my 50s now, so could safely placing me in the box called 'married' because I was married for a few years really accurately describe my NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-55548188319497917102007-01-24T15:34:00.000-06:002007-01-24T15:34:00.000-06:00NYMOM, I was responding to the author of the post ...NYMOM, I was responding to the author of the post who spoke of the "intense" relationships between choice moms and their children, not to anything you said.<br /><br />But I disagree about the idea of the nuclear family being no longer valid. It's still the norm, and the majority of children are still born and raised this way.<br /><br />According to the Census Bureau, a solid majority of peopleAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-30693379073756679152007-01-23T17:41:00.000-06:002007-01-23T17:41:00.000-06:00Where did I say a child should just nurture an "in...Where did I say a child should just nurture an "intense loving relationship with one parent" I mentioned aunts, siblings, cousins and clearly by inference other extended family members...<br /><br />This idea that people get married to one person and build their family going foward on that one relationship, with their parents, siblings, and other family members wedged in as time permits, is no NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-51501653410110586852007-01-23T11:42:00.000-06:002007-01-23T11:42:00.000-06:00With all due respect, a parent/child relationship,...With all due respect, a parent/child relationship, with the obvious power differential and the usual one-sidedness of the giving, can never be any kind of model for a marriage relationship between equals, which requires enormous give-and-take and often includes frustration and difficulty (and yes, fighting which is not a terrible thing in and of itself), but which is the source of life's greatestAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-14113153923088559442007-01-22T15:06:00.000-06:002007-01-22T15:06:00.000-06:00Note from the author:
I've interviewed kids about ...Note from the author:<br />I've interviewed kids about the lack of seeing a loving relationship...and most of them tell me they see relationships, good and bad, all over, and that the relationship they have with their mother is a good model of compromise, love and respect. <br /><br />Of course, these are the kids who are talking to me in the first place, so they tend to be pretty well-balanced Choice Momhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07497491654768050485noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-64531389670389354842007-01-22T14:55:00.000-06:002007-01-22T14:55:00.000-06:00What's far, far better for a child than having an ...What's far, far better for a child than having an "intense" relationship with one parent is witnessing an intense, loving relationship between his or her own married, biological parents.<br /><br />That's their template for their own future marriages and families, and the lack of it is the reason these single-parent homes reproduce themselves over and over with negative socioeconomic consequencesAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-45451335184612804402007-01-21T09:49:00.000-06:002007-01-21T09:49:00.000-06:00These feelings of resentment because these childre...These feelings of resentment because these children don't know their 'fathers', if you could honestly call a sperm donor a father, are actively encouraged by Elizabeth Marquardt and company in order to keeop turning their own propaganda mill. As I guarantee you that no matter what the actual research reveals, they will still be claiming that single mother homes are not good for raising children.NYMOMhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05762350054432716749noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13249219.post-79875444018125067202007-01-20T14:47:00.000-06:002007-01-20T14:47:00.000-06:00Very few of them express a “longing for father” th...<i>Very few of them express a “longing for father” that Marquardt talked about on The Today Show, because they don’t know what that is,</i><br /><br />Right -- It's okay to deprive a child of a father -- they won't know what they're missing.<br /><br />Unless they're boys, who will someday become fathers themselves, but without ever having known what it's like to be the son of a father...<br /><Martyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14777483678013218629noreply@blogger.com