Monday, September 22, 2008

Study about changing family definitions

from BioNews


By Katy Sinclair:
A survey of 3,103 men and women, conducted by vitamin supplement company
Vitabiotics, has found that 45 per cent of women surveyed would consider
asking a male friend to father their child in the absence of a suitable
The report by the company reveals that both men and women have concerns
about fertility issues, with two thirds of the women polled that were not in
current relationships expressing doubts over their ability to conceive
naturally, and 26 per cent of men voicing similar concerns.
Three quarters of those questioned thought that fertility issues could
cause serious problems within a relationship, possibly leading to a breakup,
while more than one in three men and women stated that they would reconsider
staying with a partner who could not conceive.
The most intriguing trend to come out of the survey was women's
willingness to consider alternative means to conception in the absence of a
suitable partner. Women between the ages of 28 and 31 were most likely to
entertain the idea of turning to a male friend in absence of a partner,
while half of the single female survey respondents thought about meeting a
partner on a frequent basis. Many women questioned also made it clear that
they would consider a 'second best' option in the event that they were
unable to find their 'ideal' partner.
Psychologist Linda Papadopoulos commented on the changing social norms
of parenting, which were challenging the conventional nuclear family unit.
She stated that 'reconstituted families, same sex families, and single
parents are much more prevalent these days, and rather than ascribing to the
'norm' it seems that women and men are more flexible with their definition
of 'family''.
- BBC News Online 16/9/2008 'Women consider 'friends as fathers' '
- BBC News Online:
- The Times 16/9/2008 'Half of women would ask man friend to father child
- The Times:

Thursday, September 11, 2008

When women get stuck: one night stands, breakdowns

A radio caller in my local area recently went on the air to say she was interested in finding someone to sleep with her merely to help her conceive a baby that she would raise on her own.

Some weeks prior, another local woman -- a Choice Mom I have never come in contact with -- reportedly had a major breakdown and tried to kill her two adopted daughters. This after being hospitalized because she was afraid she was going to do harm, precipitated partly by great financial and obvious emotional stress.

Two depressing stories. Obviously of interest to the media. And not indicative of the Choice Mom community in general.

But it begs the question: How many single women ARE there who decide that the easiest, least expensive method to motherhood -- short of deciding to marry Mr. Good Enough -- is to have a one (or two- or three-) night stand?

And how many single moms around us are struggling and we don't even know because they haven't found us online or are afraid to speak it out loud?

Let's talk about it openly....publicly even....and help more women find out that the Choice Mom community exists to offer support and insight so that smart and safe decisions can be made on behalf of all of our children.